3 Questions Every Parent Should Ask Their Child’s Therapist

Most parents assume that if someone has been practicing for 20 or 30 years, they must be good at what they do.

But time alone doesn’t guarantee expertise.

I’ve met phenomenal therapists with two years of experience and others with decades of experience who have been using outdated and sometimes even harmful practices because they never took updated trainings or coursework.

The truth is, your child deserves more than experience. They deserve expertise, intentionality, and a therapist who is committed to continued learning.

While I will gear these towards feeding therapy since that’s what we do here, these questions can and should be applied to every type of therapy! Just swap out feeding for whatever (OT, PT, etc.)

Before You Hire a Feeding Therapist, Read This

Most parents assume that everyone who says they do feeding therapy has been trained equally.

I used to think that too.

And honestly, I don’t blame parents for making that assumption. Why wouldn’t you? If someone calls themselves a feeding therapist, surely they know what they’re doing, right?

But here’s the truth:

Not all feeding therapists are trained equally.

And perhaps the most humbling part of this story is that I include my younger self in that statement.

I could technically tell you that I’ve been doing feeding therapy for over 15 years.

But that wouldn’t be entirely honest.

Yes, I saw feeding clients.

Yes, I had successes.

But if I’m being truly transparent, I didn’t become a specialist until I immersed myself in advanced feeding education six years ago.

Before that, I thought I knew what I was doing.

And sometimes I did.

But I also had failures.

A lot of them.

Because after taking courses from experts like Kay Toomey, Lori Overland, Robyn Merkel-Walsh, Diane Bahr, Kristie Gatto, Amanda Chastain, and Sara Rosenfeld-Johnson, I realized something uncomfortable:

I had been doing a lot of things wrong.

Not because I didn’t care.

Not because I wasn’t trying.

But because I simply didn’t know what I didn’t know.

And honestly?

Shame on my graduate program, too.

I wasn’t prepared.

No one handed me a roadmap.

Nobody said,

“Here’s how oral motor development works.”

“Here’s how sensory processing affects feeding.”

“Here’s how anxiety changes everything.”

“Here’s how to evaluate musculature and function.”

Instead, I learned the way many therapists do.

I was thrown to the wolves.

Fresh out of school, I took the cases that landed on my schedule and figured it out as I went.

I used the behavioral principles I knew.

I relied on the tiny amount of oral motor education I’d received.

I experimented.

And looking back, that’s terrifying.

If I met the younger version of myself today, I’d probably send her packing.

But I also have compassion for her.

She was young.

She cared deeply.

And she was doing the best she could with the tools she had.

Unfortunately, this is still happening.

New therapists graduate every year and are handed feeding cases with little mentorship and little specialized training.

It’s one of the reasons I vowed never to do that to therapists who work with me.

At Foodology, therapists don’t simply get handed feeding cases and told to “figure it out.”

In fact, we don’t even take students anymore.

And every clinician who joins our team goes through extensive training and mentorship in addition to completing specialized feeding education.

Because feeding is hard.

Really hard.

It’s one of the most complex things we do as humans.

And when you don’t understand the underlying systems, it’s surprisingly easy to make things worse instead of better.

That’s why I want parents to understand something:

You shouldn’t assume that everyone who says they do feeding therapy has been trained equally.

And you shouldn’t feel guilty for asking questions.

In fact, I wish more parents did.

Because if someone had asked me these three questions fifteen years ago, I probably wouldn’t have had very good answers.

Today, I do.

And every therapist who specializes in feeding should too.

Here are three questions every parent should ask:

1. What is your philosophy on feeding therapy?

Good therapists can explain how they think, not just what they do.

Do they focus on root causes? Skills before expectations? Building trust and confidence? Parent involvement?

A philosophy tells you much more than a list of activities.

This may be the most important question of all.

Imagine two therapists.

One says:

“We just keep exposing them to foods.”

Another says:

“My goal is to understand why your child is struggling. I look at oral motor skills, sensory processing, medical factors, anxiety, and family dynamics so we can build the skills necessary for success.”

Those are two completely different philosophies.

A therapist’s philosophy guides every decision they make.

Good feeding therapy isn’t about forcing bites or simply rewarding eating.

It’s about understanding the child and addressing the root causes behind feeding difficulties.

🚩 Red Flags:

For feeding specifically, I would be listening for anything that sounds like a behavioral approach (using tokens, rewards, etc.). Also, unclear, vague answers or someone whose answer only tells you about how many years they have been doing this are all red flags. 

✅ Green Lights:

If I hear anything along the lines of sensory motor approach, or child- led approach, skill based approach- those are steps in the right direction.

2. What Feeding-Specific Education Have You Completed?

Graduate school provides surprisingly little—and sometimes virtually no—specialized education in pediatric feeding.

That’s why feeding is an area where most therapists develop their expertise through continuing education, mentorship, advanced coursework, and years of intentional learning after graduation.

Don’t be afraid to ask:

“What courses or specialized training have you completed in feeding?”

Or:

“What has most shaped the way you practice feeding therapy?”

The best therapists are lifelong learners. They should be able to tell you where they learned their craft, who influenced their thinking, and how they stay current.

🚩 Red Flags

Be cautious if the answer is vague:

• “I’ve been doing this a long time.”

• “I’ve worked in a lot of places.”

• “I’ve taken a lot of courses.”

• “I teach at a university.”

• “I mentor students.”

None of those things are inherently bad.

But notice something:

They don’t actually answer the question.

A therapist who has spent years specializing in feeding can usually tell you exactly what shaped their approach.

They can name courses.

They can name mentors.

They can name programs.

They can explain how those experiences changed the way they evaluate and treat children.

If someone says they’ve taken “lots of trainings” but can’t name a single one, that’s worth paying attention to.

✅ Green Lights

You don’t need to memorize course names or become an expert yourself.

The goal isn’t to quiz your therapist.

The goal is to hear evidence that they have intentionally pursued feeding-specific education beyond graduate school.

Some of the educators and programs that have heavily influenced my own practice include:

• Diane Bahr

• SOFFI Method

• Lori Overland / TalkTools

• Robyn Merkel-Walsh / TalkTools

• Sara Rosenfeld-Johnson

• SOS Approach to Feeding with Dr. Kay Toomey

• IAOM / COM training

• Kristie Gatto

• Amanda Chastain

• Mary Billings

• Linda D’Onofrio

• Nina Johnson and the AEIOU approach

• DIRFloortime

• TummyTime! Method

This is not an exhaustive list, nor am I suggesting these are the only valuable trainings available.

The point is this:

A therapist who specializes in feeding should be able to easily discuss the courses, mentors, programs, and educational experiences that shaped how they practice today.

Because feeding is far too complex to master from a degree alone.

If Asking About Courses Feels Awkward, Try This Instead:

“What makes you qualified to treat feeding difficulties?”

I love this question because it gives therapists an opportunity to tell their story.

And honestly? Their answer will often tell you everything you need to know.

🚩 Red Flags

Be cautious if the answer relies primarily on:

• Years of experience

• Job titles

• Degrees

• Work settings

For example:

“I’ve been doing this for 25 years.”

“I’ve worked in a lot of places.”

“I’m an SLP.”

“I’m an OT.”

“I’ve seen lots of picky eaters.”

None of these answers are necessarily bad.

But they don’t actually answer the question.

Experience matters.

Continuing coursework matters.

Work experience matters.

But what you’re really trying to understand is:

What shaped this therapist into the clinician they are today?

Because two therapists can both have 20 years of experience and have completely different levels of expertise.

One therapist may have spent those years pursuing advanced education, mentorship, and specialized training.

Another may have been using the same bad approach for two decades.

The years alone don’t tell you that story.

✅ Green Lights

Strong answers often include:

• Specific courses

• Mentors

• Specialized training

• Continuing education

• Professional growth

• How their practice has evolved over time

For example:

“The advanced feeding education I’ve pursued has completely transformed the way I practice. I’ve sought out training in oral motor development, sensory feeding challenges, pediatric feeding disorders, and parent coaching. The more I’ve learned, the more I’ve realized how complex feeding truly is.”

Or:

“I’ve learned from a number of experts in the feeding field and continue pursuing education because feeding is constantly evolving. The courses and mentorship I’ve received have dramatically changed how I evaluate and treat children compared to when I first started.”

Pay Attention to Their Reaction

This is important.

You are not being difficult by asking these questions.

You are doing due diligence!

At the end of the day, you are hiring someone to help your child.

If you were hiring a nanny, accountant, contractor, or attorney, you would absolutely ask about their qualifications, experience, and approach.

Why should choosing a feeding therapist be any different?

A therapist who becomes defensive, dismissive, or irritated by reasonable questions is giving you information too.

For example:

“Why are you asking me that?”

“Don’t worry about it.”

“Just trust me.”

“I’ve been doing this long enough.”

Those responses shut down the conversation instead of helping you make an informed decision.

A therapist who has invested years into developing their expertise is usually happy to answer.

In fact, they often light up when you ask.

They might say:

“That’s a great question.”

“I’d be happy to explain.”

“Here’s what shaped my approach.”

“Here’s what I’ve learned over the years.”

Notice the difference.

One response says:

“Trust me.”

The other says:

“Let me show you.”

And those are very different things.

Because a confident therapist welcomes questions.

An insecure therapist avoids them.

3. How do you ensure progress happens between sessions?

Your therapist may see your child for one hour a week– some no joke –are 17 minute sessions! YIKES!

You see your child for the other 167 hours. 

Good therapy doesn’t create dependency. It empowers parents with strategies and support so progress continues long after the session ends.

🚩 Red Flags:

• “Just keep bringing them in.”
• “We’ll work on it during our sessions.”
• You leave every appointment wondering, “What exactly am I supposed to do this week?”
• Homework is vague or nonexistent- like “just expose them to the foods you are making at home.”
• Progress only happens when the therapist is present.
• The therapist discourages parent participation or asks you to wait outside the therapy room.
• The same things are being done month after month without clear changes.
• You feel increasingly dependent on therapy instead of increasingly confident.

✅ Green Lights:

• The therapist views you as part of the team.
• You understand exactly what you’re working on and why.
• You leave each session with specific, realistic strategies.
• Home practice fits into real life rather than requiring hours of work.
• The therapist adjusts recommendations based on what is and isn’t working.
• Parent coaching is built into sessions.
• Progress is measured and reviewed regularly.
• Over time, you feel more confident and capable.
• The ultimate goal is for your family to no longer need therapy.

Here’s something important:

The right therapist won’t be offended by these questions.

They’ll be excited to answer them. I know I am!

Because confident therapists LOVE talking about their philosophy, education, and how they help families succeed.