Why Your Child Eats for the Feeding Therapist (or the Babysitter) — but Not for You

Why Your Child Eats for the Feeding Therapist (or the Babysitter) — but Not for You

Have you ever watched your child take a bite of a new food during a feeding therapy session and thought, “Wait, what? They’d never do that for me!” Or maybe your child eats with one parent but not the other — or happily munches away when the babysitter is around, but goes on a food strike with you.

It can be frustrating. It can feel personal. But there’s a reason — and it’s not that you’re doing everything wrong.

Let’s unpack why this happens and what you can do to help bridge the gap at home.

I’m Christine — Pediatric Feeding Expert & Your Guide from Fearful to Foodie

If you’re new here, I help parents turn their child’s picky eating journey into one filled with confidence and curiosity. Most of the families I work with don’t just have picky eaters — they have problem feeders. These are kids who won’t eat from multiple food categories, and their feeding challenges often go deeper than just saying “no” to broccoli.

👉 Not sure where your child stands? Take the quiz at thepickyeaterstest.com to find out.

So, Why Does Your Child Eat for Them… But Not for You?

It can feel like a punch to the gut.

You’ve spent all week chopping vegetables, googling fun lunchbox ideas, trying everything to get your child to take a bite of something other than beige food…
And then suddenly, they eat cucumbers at Grandma’s house.
Or take a bite of pasta at preschool.
Or try three new foods with the feeding therapist — foods they “hate” at home.

So what gives?

Is it you?
(You’re probably wondering that.)
But let me reassure you — it’s not that your child is testing you or being manipulative.
It’s that the environment — the energy, the expectations, the emotional history — is completely different.

Let’s break this down:

There are a few key reasons kids behave differently at the table with other people:

1. There’s No History

Feeding therapists, babysitters, teachers — they don’t carry the emotional baggage of all those mealtime battles. Your child doesn’t associate these people with tears, stress, or pressure. They’re starting fresh.

Every mealtime you’ve shared with your child carries a little invisible backpack full of memories — the arguments, the tears, the desperate “just try one bite!” pleas.

Now think about the feeding therapist or the babysitter. They’re coming in clean. There’s no emotional weight, no memory of past battles. For your child, that means:
✨ Fresh start. No pressure. New rules.

Their brain isn’t already on high alert. They’re not bracing for the moment the begging begins or the bribes come out. Instead, they feel open. Safe. Even a little curious.

2. The Pressure is Off

Often, others create a more relaxed, playful vibe. No one’s begging or bribing them to take a bite — and that makes a huge difference. When the pressure drops, curiosity has room to grow.

Let’s be real — most of us parents really want our child to eat. It’s hard not to hover or “just check” if they’ve tasted the chicken nugget yet. But even subtle pressure can feel huge to a child who’s unsure about food.

Others — especially people who don’t have as much skin in the game — often bring a more relaxed, neutral energy to the table. They don’t react if your child skips a bite. They don’t cheer too hard when they finally nibble a carrot. They just keep it chill.

That calmness creates the space your child needs to explore instead of perform.
And when pressure goes down? Curiosity goes way up.

3. Your Energy Affects the Meal

Let’s be honest — after enough exhausting meals, your patience wears thin. You bring that energy into the next meal (how could you not?), and your child picks up on it. Even the environment at home — lighting, smells, where they sit — cues their brain to respond with “I don’t eat here.”

I want to give you some grace here: If meals have been hard for a long time, it makes total sense that you walk into dinnertime feeling tense, tired, or defeated.
You’ve been in the trenches.

But your child feels that.

The sigh when they refuse the plate.
The silence when they push it away.
Even your best poker face — they sense what’s underneath.

And over time, your child’s brain starts connecting those feelings with food, with mealtime, and with you. It’s like their nervous system says: “Oh, we’re sitting at this table in that chair again? Time to shut down.”

So what can you do?

🌱 Here are a few ways to shift the vibe:

• Change the scenery: Have a picnic on the floor, eat outside, or let your child pick a “restaurant” name for dinner tonight. New environment = new associations.

• Play before the plate: Start with a silly food game, like feeding a toy or drawing food faces. Get them laughing first — it helps lower anxiety and opens up their curiosity.

• Reset your energy: Before the meal, take one deep breath. Remind yourself: My job isn’t to make them eat. It’s to make this safe. Let that be the goal.

You are not the problem.
But you are the most powerful person in the room when it comes to shifting how food feels.

And here’s the thing most people don’t tell you:

It’s not just about getting your child to eat.

It’s about healing the relationship between you, your child, and food.

Parents often come to me saying, “They won’t eat for me, but they’ll do it for someone else. I must need a feeding therapist.”

And while yes — support is helpful — what many families really need is something deeper:

🧠 A mindset reset.
🧩 A fresh connection.
❤️ A way to rebuild trust — not just with food, but with each other.

Because your child isn’t resisting food as much as they’re resisting the feelings they’ve come to associate with it:

• The tension in your voice

• The worry in your eyes

• The pressure (even unspoken) to “just eat something already”

When you’ve been in survival mode at the table, it’s so easy to feel like your only job is to get food in.
But what if the most important thing… is to let safety in first?

That’s exactly what we do inside Unlocking Mealtimes.

We don’t just focus on what goes on the plate — we focus on what’s happening in your child’s brain, in their body, and in the relationship between you.

We teach you how to:

✅ Reset the emotional tone at the table
✅ Rebuild your child’s trust in you as a feeding partner
✅ Shift your energy so meals feel calm, playful, and safe — without needing a third party every time

Because your child can eat for you.
Not through bribes. Not through rewards. But through connection, confidence, and consistency.

👉 You already have the most important tool your child needs: you.
Let’s help you use it in a way that brings joy (instead of dread) back to mealtimes.

But this isn’t just about your child learning to eat new foods.
This is about you walking into mealtime without dread.
It’s about knowing how to respond when things go sideways — without spiraling.
It’s about finally enjoying the moment instead of surviving it.

You’ll leave this program feeling more grounded, more connected, and more capable — even on the hard days.

👉 Your child will eat differently.
👉 You will feel differently.
👉 Your family will connect differently.

And that ripple effect? It lasts far beyond the dinner table.

You’re not doing anything wrong. If your child eats for someone else, it’s not because you’re failing — it’s because mealtimes are deeply emotional. But the good news is: you can recreate that same calm, curious environment at home. And I’m here to help you do it.

Not sure where to start? Let’s take the path that’s right for your child.

✨ If your child is already showing signs of curiosity at the table — they might just need a Mealtime Makeover. Inside this experience, we help you tweak what’s already working, introduce variety without overwhelm, and turn that spark into real progress.

🌱 If your child is fearful around food, shuts down at meals, or eats fewer than 20 foods, you’ll want to start with a personalized Roadmap. We’ll walk you through understanding what’s driving their resistance, resetting the connection between you, your child, and food — and help you build a plan based on their unique needs.

Inside Unlocking Mealtimes, we help you reset the relationship between your child, food, and you.
Not with pressure. Not with cookie-cutter solutions.
But with a personalized plan that meets your child where they are.

💡 Get your child’s personal roadmap started here — and discover our one-of-a-kind program tailored just for your family.