How to Teach Your Child to Chew: Oral-Motor Strategies That Work
Is Picky Eating Genetic? What Parents Need to Know
If you’ve ever wondered why your child gags, spits food out, or seems to “just swallow” instead of chewing — you’re in the right place.
Chewing looks simple, but it’s actually one of the most complex motor skills we develop in early childhood. It requires jaw strength, tongue coordination, sensory awareness, and confidence.
And here’s something I see all the time in my practice: even when parents suspect something’s off, other providers often tell them, “Everything looks fine.” I can’t tell you how many reports I’ve received that say “oral-motor skills are intact and functional” — only for me to see a child who can barely move food from one side of the mouth to the other.
So if your gut tells you that something about chewing doesn’t look right… trust it. You know your child best.
And it’s not about blame — chewing is a complex skill that often looks “good enough” until you know what to look for.
Why Chewing Matters More Than You Think
Chewing does so much more than just break food into smaller pieces. It:
Strengthens the jaw, tongue, and lips
Prepares the body for safe swallowing
Supports speech development (especially those tricky /t/, /d/, /l/, /k/ sounds)
Helps the digestive system — food that’s chewed well is easier to break down
Builds sensory confidence with textures, temperatures, and tastes
So when a child doesn’t chew well, we often see the ripple effects: limited food variety, frequent gagging, and resistance to new textures — even picky eating that seems “behavioral.”
Signs Your Child Might Be Struggling (Even If It Doesn’t Look Like It)
Here are a few things I look for in my evaluations that parents don’t always notice at first:
Swallowing food whole or barely moving it before swallowing
Chewing only on one side
Food “pocketed” in the cheeks or under the tongue
Gagging or coughing with small pieces of food
Open-mouth chewing (jaw drops but tongue barely moves)
Avoiding chewy or textured foods (like meats or raw veggies)
Preferring only meltable or easy to break down foods — yogurt, pouches, crackers, cookies, etc.
If a few of those sound familiar, it doesn’t automatically mean something is “wrong.” It’s simply a sign your child’s chewing muscles and coordination might need more practice — and that’s totally doable with the right approach
How Chewing Skills Really Develop
Chewing doesn’t happen in isolation. It’s part of a bigger system that involves the lips, tongue, jaw, and even breathing.
Before a child can chew efficiently, a few things need to fall into place:
Lips need to close so the jaw can stabilize. (Mouth-open posture often means the jaw is hanging and the tongue can’t lift properly.)
The tongue needs to rest on the roof of the mouth, not the floor. That “home base” position helps guide food where it needs to go during chewing.
The jaw and tongue have to learn to move independently. Many kids move them as one unit — which looks like chewing, but it’s really just mashing.
Once those pieces are working together, we can build jaw strength (to bite through foods) and stability (to control movement without wobbling).
Then comes tongue control — side-to-side movement (lateralization) to move food between the teeth and retraction to send it back for swallowing.
Every child’s starting point is different. Some need help closing their lips and breathing through their nose before chewing can even happen safely. Others have the strength but not the coordination yet — and that’s where therapy makes the biggest difference.
Step 1: Observe Before You Jump In
Before teaching your child to chew, take a few days to just watch how they handle food.
Look for things like:
Do they chew on one side only?
Does the tongue move side-to-side?
Do they swallow before the food looks broken down?
Are they mouth-open or breathing heavily while eating?
This helps you see what’s really happening — not just whether food goes in and out.
👉 Tip: Try recording a few bites on video and watch in slow motion — you’ll notice much more than in real time.
Step 2: Build the Foundation (Posture, Lips, and Breathing)
You can’t build strong chewing skills on a wobbly foundation.
Start here:
Stable seating: Make sure your child’s feet are supported and their body is upright. A stable base supports better oral control.
Closed lips: If your child’s mouth hangs open, gently model closing lips and breathing through the nose. Sometimes even humming (“mmm”) can help activate those muscles.
Nasal breathing: Chewing while mouth-breathing is exhausting. Encourage nose breathing during calm times of the day — not just mealtime.
Step 3: Encourage Jaw Strength and Stability
Chewing starts with up-and-down movement of the jaw — not side-to-side yet.
You can support that safely with:
Chew tools: Use a firm but safe chew tube or silicone straw to practice gentle biting.
Firm foods: Try foods that give some resistance but aren’t choking hazards — soft carrots, thick banana slices, or cheese sticks.
Count the chews: “Let’s see if we can do five chews before we swallow!” helps build awareness and endurance.
💡 Why this matters: Strength = the ability to bite through foods.
Stability = the ability to keep control and chew without the jaw wobbling or fatiguing.
Step 4: Get the Tongue Moving
Once the jaw can open and close rhythmically, we want the tongue to help move food side-to-side and back.
You can playfully encourage this with:
Licking games: Put a dab of yogurt or applesauce on the corners of the mouth and have your child lick it off. This helps the tongue move laterally.
Straw sipping: Thick smoothies or yogurt drinks build suction and tongue retraction, both key for moving food to the back of the mouth.
Blowing bubbles or cotton balls: These strengthen the same muscles that help manage air and saliva control during chewing. It also helps with tongue retraction! When we round the lips and bring them forward, the tongue naturally retracts backwards! Try it yourself!
Step 5: Practice With Safe, Soft Foods
Now that the foundation is there, try introducing foods that encourage chewing without frustration:
Start with soft solids that hold shape (e.g., steamed veggies, pasta, diced peaches).
Cut food into manageable sizes — about the size of a pea to start.
Model how to chew slowly and visibly: “I’m using my teeth to mash it up!” “I’m using my tongue to move the food to my teeth”
Give plenty of time between bites. Chewing practice isn’t about speed — it’s about control.
Step 6: Know When to Get Help
If your child:
Frequently gags, coughs, or vomits
Holds food in their cheeks or avoids anything that requires chewing
Seems anxious or fearful at mealtimes
Fatigues easily during eating
…it’s time for a feeding evaluation.
But here’s the key: not all providers are trained to look at chewing the same way.
Many well-meaning professionals — even pediatricians, speech therapists, or OTs — receive very little hands-on training in oral-motor and feeding development. It’s why so many parents walk away with reports that say “oral structures and function are normal” when, in reality, the tongue barely moves, the jaw wobbles, or the child never closes their lips.
If you’ve been told everything looks fine but your gut says otherwise — trust that instinct. You might just need a specialist who truly understands oral-motor function.
Here’s what to look for in the right provider:
✅ Experience with pediatric feeding or swallowing, not just speech or sensory work.
✅ Training in oral-motor and oral-placement therapy (e.g., TalkTools, Beckman, or similar programs).
✅ Observation-based evaluation, where the therapist watches your child eat and drink — not just inspects their mouth.
✅ Collaboration with medical and structural specialists (ENTs, lactation consultants, bodywork or myofunctional therapists) when tongue ties, tone, or breathing issues are suspected.
You can start by searching for “feeding therapist” or “orofacial myofunctional therapist” in your area, or ask your pediatrician for referrals to someone who specializes specifically in feeding and swallowing — not just articulation or language.
The goal isn’t to find any therapist; it’s to find the right one who can see the subtle things most others miss. Early, specialized help can make all the difference.
The Bottom Line
Chewing is one of those skills that’s easy to overlook — until you really watch what’s happening in your child’s mouth.
So don’t wait for a crisis or a choking scare to ask questions. The sooner you address it, the smoother mealtimes become.
If you’re unsure whether what you’re seeing is typical, take my free Picky Eater Test. It helps you see where your child falls on the feeding spectrum — and whether it’s time to get extra support.
Because learning to chew isn’t just about eating. It’s about confidence, safety, and helping your child enjoy food again.
Next Steps for Parents of Picky Eaters
If this resonates with you:
👉 Take my free quiz on the right hand side of this page to find out if your child is in the Fearful, Stuck, or Curious stage of eating. You’ll get your next steps immediatly.
👉 If you’re ready for personalized help, explore the Unlocking Mealtimes Roadmap. We go way beyond behavior charts, looking at genetics, gut, oral motor, and sensory profiles to create a step-by-step plan for progress.